New 38

A man is driving past a farm

A man driving past a farm accidentally runs over a rooster. Feeling guilty, he picks it up and goes to the farmhouse. He tells the farmer, “I’m afraid I’ve run over your rooster. I really do apologize, and I’m more than happy to replace him.” The farmer replies, “Well, if you really want to go around back and mate with the hens, be my guest, but I’d rather you just pay for a new rooster.”

Meanwhile, a farmer with 200 hens but no rooster needs chicks, so he asks a neighboring farmer if he has a rooster for sale. The neighbor offers Randy, a highly effective rooster. “Yeah, I’ve got this great rooster, named Randy. He’ll service every chicken you got, no problem,” he says. Although Randy is expensive, the farmer buys him.

The farmer brings Randy home and advises him to pace himself. Randy seems to understand but immediately starts servicing every hen in the henhouse, shocking the farmer. Later, Randy moves on to the ducks, then the geese by the lake, and by sunset, he’s chasing quail and pheasants. The farmer worries Randy won’t last 24 hours.

The next morning, the farmer finds Randy dead in the yard with buzzards circling. Saddened, he says, “Oh, Randy, I told you to pace yourself. Now look what you’ve done to yourself.” Randy opens one eye, nods towards the buzzards, and says, “Shhh. They’re getting closer.” What a joker!